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IF YOU ARE CONCERNED, ASK

Too often, we wait for the other person to come to us.

If you have concerns, it is okay to state them and ask directly about mental health and suicide. 

Asking about suicide will not put the idea in their head.

In fact, asking shows the other person that we are willing to have the conversation, and it can actually provide comfort and increased possibility of honest communication.

Ask whenever you see warning signs and are concerned.

Warning signs of suicide include talking about suicide, expressing hopelessness, seeing oneself as a burden to others, displaying severe/overwhelming pain or distress, and marked changes in behavior, emotionality, or goals. You do not have to see any of these though to feel concern and open up a conversation.

Offer validation and communicate support.

You do not have to understand it, but you also do not have to change it. Validation is accepting the person where they are at, and support is showing that you are right there with them. "I hear you," "I am here for you," "I love you" are all validating and supportive statements. 

Focus on immediate next steps.

You do not have to have the answers, and you are not going to be able to fix it. But you can help to focus on immediate next steps - sitting for a few moments, getting a drink of water, calling a crisis line together, seeking out other supports...just focusing on one step at a time.

Support yourself.

Finding out a loved one is suicidal is a crisis situation, and it can leave you feeling confused, scared, helpless, and powerless. Make sure to find your supports as well, and know that you never have to handle this alone. 

Following A Suicide

There are many different feelings following a suicide, and none of them are wrong.

It is normal to feel angry, sad, devasted, confused, powerless, and many other feelings. They may shift and change rapidly, and this is normal as well. It is important to accept the feelings that we are experiencing as valid and real. Your feelings are completely valid.  

Providing support following a suicide is about just being there.

Listen. Validate. Be there.  No one can take away the pain that you or anyone else is feeling. The important thing is to connect and be present for each other, and that may look different day to day and moment to moment.

Know that suicide risk increases for everyone impacted by a suicide.

Immediately following a suicide, there is an increased risk of suicide by those who are grieving. It is important to check on each other, to talk about mental health and suicide, and to reduce isolation and shame as much as possible. 

Everyone's timeline is different.

While some people may seek out support immediately after the loss, it may take others weeks or months to do so. Know that support is available, and it is there for you and anyone else when it is needed. There is no timeline for grief, and there is no timeline for getting support. 

Suicide Loss Resources:

NATIONAL

* American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has a page with many options for support, from videos to direct contact with loss survivors. https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone/

* Friends for Survival provides free online support groups and a newsletter for suicide survivors. They also have a hotline dedicated to support following a suicide: 800-646-7322

https://friendsforsurvival.org/

* Compassionate Friends provides support for parents, grandparents, and siblings of someone who has died, with most chapters having groups specific to suicide loss. https://www.compassionatefriends.org/

ARIZONA

* Empact provides Survivors of Suicide meetings hosted by trained facilitators for suicide loss, as well as an annual conference to support loss survivors. https://empactsos.org/

* New Song Center for Grieving Children provides free support groups for children who have lost a loved one, with parental involvement incorporated. https://www.hov.org/our-care/grief-support/new-song-center-for-grieving-children/ 

* Center for Compassion is a therapy group specializing in support for traumatic grief, including suicide. Most insurances are accepted. https://thecenterforcompassion.com/

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